Express thyself

2004-03-09T19:41:00.000+08:00

1,2,3

It have been quite sometimes i've stop blogging. Curse everything except me :D. Man, work is killing me softly. Today, i just attended a meeting with our new client. Kinda cool client, but the cool factor is not on my side. I need to juggle 3 projects at one time. My God, i feel like tore apart.

And i'm thinking, what if i found a solution to make money, with a low risk to bear, good return in relatively short period of time (if i work very hard on that), would i give a try instead??

I say a medical doctor who make a handsome figure of almost RM 1 million (yes, 1 follows 6 zero behind it) in a year, doing his part time business. And the best part is.. it's legitimate!

What say you?

2003-12-23T22:21:00.000+08:00

FINALLY!

Yesssss!!! finally, the time has arrived. I will take a very long holiday startin tomorrow! Yihaa!!! It just wonderful. This is my longest leave that i've ever take. I'll be back working next year, starting at 5th of January. Tomorrow night, i'll heading to Sabah, land below the wind. Below is the tentative that've been set by my group:

1) Climbing mount Kinabalu
2) White water rafting at Padas River
3) Snorkeling at Manukan Island
4) "Hot Bath" in Poring Hot Spring
5) Anything that can release our one year stress :D

Hopefully, once i get back to KL, all my stress hormone is at the very minimum level.

See ya next year. Happy new year & Happy Birthday (to me)..hehe

2003-12-02T09:07:00.000+08:00

Behind Blue Eyes - Limp Bizkit

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
And no one knows
What it's like to be hated
To be faded to telling only lies
[chorus]
But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscious seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
No one knows what its like
To feel these feelings
Like i do, and i blame you!
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain woe
Can show through
[chorus]
Discover l.i.m.p. say it [x4]
No one knows what its like
To be mistreated, to be defeated
Behind blue eyes
No one know how to say
That they're sorry and don't worry
I'm not telling lies
[chorus]
No one knows what its like
To be the bad man, to be the sad man
Behind blue eyes.

2003-12-02T08:45:00.000+08:00

Addicted - Enrique Iglesias

Have I told you how good it feels to be me,
when I'm in you?
I can only stay clean
when you are around.
Don't let me fall.
If I close my eyes forever,
would it ease the pain?
Could I breathe again?

[Chorus:]
Maybe I'm addicted,
I'm out of control,
but you're the drug
that keeps me from dying.
Maybe I'm a liar,
but all I really know is
you're the only reason I'm trying.

I am wasted away,
I made a million mistakes.
Am I too late?
There is a storm in my head;
it rains on my bed
when you are not here.
I'm not afraid of dying,
but I am afraid of losing you.

[Chorus:]
Maybe I'm addicted,
I'm out of control,
but you're the drug
that keeps me from dying.
Maybe I'm a liar,
but all I really know is
you're the only reason I'm trying.

When you're lying next to me
love is going through to me.
Oh it's beautiful.
Everything is clear to me
'till I hit reality
and I lose it all...
I lose it all...
I lose it all.
I lose it all...
Nah nah nah
nah nah nah....
Nah nah nah nah nah nah.....
nah nah nah nah nah nah....

You're the only reason,
Yeah, you're the only reason I'm trying,
Oh, I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying,
Don't want to lose it all,
Don't want to lose it all,
I'm trying, I'm trying..
I'm trying ...
Yeah, you know I'm addicted,
You know I'm addicted,
Yeah, you know I'm addicted....

2003-12-02T08:43:00.000+08:00

New lease of life, with a heavier midsection

Just came back from a long & enjoyable holiday. Hari Raya as usual is a special moment for a muslim. This is the perfect time to ask for a forgiveness, eventhough it is not limited to this duration only. What i really enjoy abt Hari Raya is the food! Plenty of it, variety, at any time, any place, so to speak. Most of the food is high is saturated fat, such as rendang, lemang & etc. But this is what they usually have. I have diminished my 'healthy life plan' when come Hari Raya. Eat all i want, drink whatever quench my thirst. Calories counting no more.

Now, at this very moment, i'm a sinner with my choice, my attitude so to say. I've put a relative huge in size and heavier of weight on my midsection. Damn! i put on at least 2kg during the festive season & now i have to be like a white rat on the treadmill. Urgh!

Me lest of worry because i know the best way to lose the weight, without losing the important muscle mass & without starving. Start it yesterday, it was a cool session. Hitting the treadmill for 30 minutes at 8km/h, plus some leg & shoulder routine exercise.

Gonna continue today. Today will be a aerobic session in KLCC Park. Hopefully the rain will shy away this afternoon.

2003-11-21T15:23:00.000+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri

I wish all fellow muslims, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri & Maaf Zahir Batin. To the rest, enjoy your holiday, as much as i do. I'm off for 1 week, yihaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Bota Kanan, here i come!

Sign off,
-k|m|-

2003-11-21T15:21:00.000+08:00

Here Without You - 3 Doors Down

A hundred days had made me older
since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder
and I don’t think I can look at this the same

But all the miles had separate
They disappeared now when I’m dreaming of your face

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time

I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me

The miles just keep rolling
as the people either way to say hello
I hear this life is overrated
but I hope it gets better as we go

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time

I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it’s all said and done
it get hard but it won’t take away my love

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time

I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

2003-11-11T08:28:00.000+08:00

Next Thing :D

The next thing that i would venture in. Look & sound interesting.

2003-11-09T21:45:00.000+08:00

Humiliated, Mortified!

I wonder, how does it feel to be humiliated by someone you trust, in front of bunch of friends, where he/she is revealing stuff that should be kept as secret/confidential, which makes you as a classic laughing stock???

Whatever it is, i'll keep every information that i should keep to myself. Me will remind myself of not to tarnish other people trust on me. As what Imam Ghazali said at one point of moment before...

"Perkara yang paling berat untuk dipikul adalah AMANAH"

...and i'm carrying a loadsa trust on my shoulder right now.

2003-11-07T15:12:00.000+08:00

Why?

Few weeks back, i'm having an interesting conversation with my friend. She is sweet & caring, but, i dunno damn why, she yet to have a boyfriend. Below is our conversation snip. Not a verbatim though.

She: Eh, kau bila nak kawin?
Me: Aku jumpa sesiapa yang berkenan nanti, aku kawen jek la... Senang! :)
She: Hahaha, senang la kao, lelaki. Leh pilih sesape yang kau nak & kawen.
Me: Tak jugak, kena pilih yang sesuai ngan aku.
She: Eh kau, kalau aku tak jumpa sesape bila umur aku dah sampai 30, kau kawen ngan aku nak tak??
Me: Aaaaa....?????

If i dare to wait for her to reach 30, it will take around 2 years from now. Enough for me to accumulate a good amount of money for us to settle down. It'a good 'offer' eventhough i'm in a big time dilemma on this matter.

Hmmm....should i take the offer or should i not?
*Life is damn confusing*

2003-11-07T08:02:00.001+08:00

BOBLBE.E, BOBLBE.E, BOBLBE.E

Yaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! at last i got my own boblbee! Now i'm a proud owner of Megalopolis Sport, blue in color, very comfortable to carry eventhough it burn a deep hole in my pocket. Nahhh, who cares anyway. As long i get what i want & it didn't burden other people (financial), i don't give a damn care!

The week before i received an official ALL BLACK 2003 world cup jersey. Yet to wear it. Perhaps i might brutalize it during Aidilfitri. ;)

Back to work, i got tons of work need to be done! Selamat berpuasa to all fellow muslim.

2003-11-07T08:02:00.000+08:00

flop poppy - masih

Masih ku tak berdaya
Melupakan mu
Di hatiku berkata
Apakah sebenarnya cinta

Di hati ini
Hanya mainan semata
Namun kau tak mengerti
Apakah sebenarnya yang telah terjadi

Di diri ini
Kau yang masih di hati
Tidak terdaya
Untuk mengundur diri

Darimu
Setelah engkau pergi
Tiada apa yang ada di diri ini
Kuharapkan kau kan berubah hati
Semoga kau kan kembali
Di diri ini

2003-10-23T09:37:00.000+08:00

I won, I won

there is no other better time for me to win something, than now. Winning it really makes me feel ecstatic, whatelse winning thing that i've dream it for quite sometimes. Last friday is one of those lucky day in my life. Why? Becauseee.... I won a Dell Axim X5 PDA !!! Its an entry level PDA from Dell. 300Mhz XScale, 32MB of RAM n ROM, it is sufficient for a novice user like me. *writlng this entry using X5, while commuting in STAR LRT heading to Bukit Jalil.* As at the point of writlng this, I'm still struggling in leveraging the usage of this baby. The storage is relatlvely small, but who cares since I have a 128 MB SD card that can be utilize.

Hmmm. i got a report need to be completed by end of this week. Can't spend much time blogging. (As usual me)

Next week, Ramadhan is coming. I just can't wait for the most remarkable month to come. As for me, Ramadhan, is not the time to feast my taste bud with variety type of food, but to 'commit' myself into performing more good deed such as 'bersedekah' and 'solat terawikh'. Ramadhan, you remind me on so many things...

2003-10-17T11:25:00.000+08:00

MORE LYRIC!

Kasidah Cinta - Dewa

Ku jatuh cinta kepadamu
Saat pertama bertemu
Salahkah bilaku terlalu mencintai
Dirimu yang tak mungkin mencintai aku
Oh Tuhan tolong

Aku langsung jatuh cinta kepadamu
Cinta pada pandangan pertama
Cinta yang bisa mengubah
Jalan hidupku jadi lebih berarti

Oh mungkin hanya keajaiban Tuhan
Yang bisa jadikan hamba-Nya yang cantik
Menjadi milikku

Aku bukanlah laki-laki
Yang mudah jatuh hatinya

2003-10-16T08:30:00.000+08:00

Aku, Kau & Dia

"...Bahagiaku untuk dirimu"

Song : Aku Cinta Kau & Dia
Group : Ahmad Band

2003-10-15T19:04:00.000+08:00

MORE & MORE

I've been told that i'll be included in a new project. The project will be commenced 1 week after Hari Raya. Uwaaaaaaa!!! There goes my RAYA! Hopefully there is not much of obstacle in it. Or else, my dream to conquer Kinabalu will go with the wind!

2003-10-09T19:48:00.000+08:00

A song...by someone for me

Jordan Hill - Remember Me This Way

Every now and then
We find a special friend
Who never lets us down
Who understands it all
Reaches out each time you fall
You're the best friend that I've found

I know you can't stay
A part of you will never ever go away
Your heart will stay

I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life would just be kind
To such a gentle mind
If you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Remember me this way

I don't need eyes to see
The love you bring to me
No matter where I go
And I know that you'll be there
Forever more a part of me, you're everywhere
I'll always care

And I'll be right behind your shoulder watching you
I'll be standing by your side and all you do

And I won't ever leave
As long as you believe
You just believe

I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life would just be kind
To such a gentle mind
-----------------------------------------
- why this song?
- what this song have to do with me?
- huh....whatever!
- i can't think, my brain stuck!

good evening to all, i need to get a shower, a good one indeed. My body is aching!

2003-10-09T10:17:00.000+08:00

HECTIC!

2003-10-07T16:05:00.000+08:00

Boblbee oh Boblbee!

To CEO of Boblbee,

May i ask you one thing, why don't you open up a premise in Australia. So that i can splurge my money to buy your product. I can't travel nowaday to US because it is too far away & the authority really a pain in the ass. They have fucking double standard perception to people like me. You know, if you open even a small premise in Malaysia, you can make million of revenue every year!. Malaysian yuppies always love an innovative product(s), just what you offer.

Please, do consider to open up a premise in Australia, or even better in Malaysia.

Thanks You.

Heartbroken-Boblbee-Fan,
-kimi-

2003-10-07T14:41:00.000+08:00

Beginning & End...

"everything that has a beginning has an end" - Matrix Revolution
Just can't wait for November 05 to come. I just wonder....

- What will happen to Neo?
- Will Persephone will be in Revolution?
- What will happen to the world?
- Oh, BTW, can i go and watch this movie? My schedule is farking tight during that moment...Urghhhh!!!

Eh, wait! Perhaps i can go & watch it in Singapore instead! I'll be there for 5 days, to attend a course. Yihaaaaaa!!

I wish to celebrate full month of Ramadhan in my country, without travelling anywhere, let alone to our neighboring country.

2003-10-06T17:35:00.000+08:00

LIMA '03

Just came back from LIMA 03 in Langkawi. My skin burnt! Ouchhh! My skin look no different as Chris Rock or LL Cool J. Hahaha. The show is awesome, i really enjoyed myself. This is my first visit to Langkawi, the only word i can said abt the island is AWESOME! The food is cheap & nice, the people are friendly. I wish i can stay there for another 3 days, but that's only happen in my dream.

I burned 4 rolls of film during the exhibition. Now is the time to develop it which guarantee makes me RM150 poorer this month. I don't care about that. As long as i love doing it, money will not be a big issue.

Below are the list of what i did during the LIMA 03 exhibition.

1) Taking a lot of picture. Film only. I wish i had a Digital Camera, preferably a D-SLR :D

2) Get the RED ARROW pilots to sign on HAWK brochure! I can't believe myself that i will meet them, but it happens. To Helme, weep my baby boy. While u're snoring at home, i met the RED ARROW pilots...hahaha. They are just awesome man. Talking about pilot.

3) Took several photo with RED ARROW pilot. Looking forward to see the outcome of the photo.

4) Have a chat with Kuantan-Based MIG-29 Squadron pilot. I don't know his name. But he wear the embroided batch bearing 'Jebat' name on it. I guess that is his 'nickname'. Just like what Tom Cruise have in Top Gun movie. Shoot some photos with them.

5) Got to know group crew of F/A-18D, based in Butterworth. Nice chap, friendly. Photo shoot again.

6) Got to know pilot who is one of the member of HAWK squadron. Photo again.

7) I touched the MIG-29N & F/A-18D. Just like a dream to me...haha

8) Saw the JDAM (which is used during the Iraqi War). It were displayed just beside the F/A-18F-Super Hornet, which belong to USAF. Bugger, i can't touch the plane & the bomb.

9) Took some photos with the USAF pilot, as well as their ground crew. They are really stout, make me felt like a kid...ahahaha

10) Shoot some photo of this airplane/copter;
- F/A-18D
- F/A-18F Super Hornet
- F-16
- SU-30MKM
- MIG-29N
- The entire RED ARROW plane (HAWK 100)
- An airplane from USAF. Damn i cant remember its name

11) Met atok at AugustaWestland booth. Have a very nice chat with him. When i return back to Langkawi, i will give him a call.

That all for now. My face is burning!!!!

Have a good day fellow.

2003-10-03T10:38:00.000+08:00

80 Days & Counting....

Let me count the days left...yeah, got it! 80 days left. Nah, i'm not counting on my wedding days to come, i even have no idea when will it be. Anyway, i'm counting the days left before taking myself to the HIGHEST peak in Southeast Asia, Gunung Kinabalu. Wahhh...i never thought of 'conquering' this mountain, but it seems will turn to a reality in couple of months to come.

Stand majestically at 4905.2 meter (13,455 feet), Kinabalu is our nation pride. What have been told by my mountaineering friends, Kinabalu is relatively easier to conquer, compare to G. Tahan or even G. Tapis (i've got a hell of experience here). Hopefully it is.

Eventhough i got ample time to prepare myself for this adventure, there is one thing that worry me most. My weight! Damn, i've put on weight recently. Not much, basically, just around 1-2kg for the last 2 months. Pity me. This is due to excessive hours spent in the office to fulfill some critical deadline, which at the same time, skipping my gym routine is not an excuse anymore. My spare tire growing up. Ouchhh!!! The bigger spare tire caused my mind to be relative slow at this point of moment. Snail's pace, so to say.

I need to get myself physically & mentally fit, ASAP. I need to reschedule back my desktop work, so that i can spend usual hour in the gym. To put off some weight is the main priority right now, shedding more fat will follow suit.

I have to weigh around 72-75kg before the expedition. It's a tough challenge, and i'm all for that. I can't afford to 'carry' my current physical body up to Kinabalu. It excessive & daunting. Plus the weight the bag that i need to carry, it will be an uphill task. Oh! what a pity to my Deuter Aircontact 75+10, it have been lying above my wardrobe for the last 5 months. The last time i've utilized it is during the trip to Gunung Tapis. It's a bittersweet memory trip.

I have to find out a good theraphy center to cure my knuckle problem. It hurt like hell during my previous trip. Not only one, but both. I should visit the recommended theraphy center by my gym.

A good reference before scaling up Kinabalu can be found here.

80 days & counting...

*Current Track: Don't Look Back In Anger - Oasis*

"Keep me posted" - Horatio Caine, CSI Miami

2003-09-30T17:16:00.000+08:00

All I Want Is You - U2

You say you want
Diamonds on a ring of gold
You say you want
Your story to remain untold

But all the promises we make
From the cradle to the grave
When all I want is you

You say you'll give me
A highway with no one on it
Treasure just to look upon it
All the riches in the night

You say you'll give me
Eyes in a moon of blindness
A river in a time of dryness
A harbour in the tempest
But all the promises we make
From the cradle to the grave
When all I want is you

You say you want
Your love to work out right
To last with me through the night

You say you want
Diamonds on a ring of gold
Your story to remain untold
Your love not to grow cold

All the promises we break
From the cradle to the grave
When all I want is you

You...all I want is...
You...all I want is...
You...all I want is...
You...

--------

Who are you that makes me wanting? :D

2003-09-26T10:03:00.000+08:00

REAL, AM I?

Morpheus : What is real? How do you define "real"? If you're talking about what you can feel, what you can smell, taste and see, then "real" is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain.

Excerpt from The Matrix - 1999

I went thinking, am i real? or what is real is all about? I'm touching my cats, are they for real? I'm chewing my food, is it for real? Gulping some water to quench my thirst, is it for real?

God help me, am i trapped in the world that is so real, that nobody realize whether it real or not...

A good read to this coming weekend. IDEALISM THE PHILOSOPHY OF THE MATRIX AND THE TRUE NATURE OF MATTER can be download freely here. Or you can check it out from nearest bookstore.

Have a good weekend.

2003-09-20T19:01:00.000+08:00

I'M SICK & TIRED!

Usually, ranting is not my fucking behaviour, neither my damn ordinary expression. Last week it is getting worst. The fucker doing the drama again.

Setting up an event is not my cup of tea, be it a small,let alone if it is a huge one. I really appreciate the organizer with all their hard work & persistent have been put on in order to see everything running mechanically perfect.

In any event, there are 2 group of ppl usually attend it. One, we call it a 'must go' personnel. Simply put, this group are instructed to go. Period. The next group is 'invited' participant. There are a bunch of ppl where their appearance in the event would be highly appreciate.

Me? I'm in the first group. Must-Go @ Instructed To Go Balaci. Period. No question, there i've to set my butt at. I'm just a cleaner in the company, making tea for the consultants, torturing myself listening the fucking lady who sang all day long, who got tons of report yet to be settle.

I'm happy being selected to attend the event, u know. As an ordinary cleaner, it's an honour to be to be shortlisted. I feel good. To share bedroom is with fellow cleaner is a great idea, since our company is not yet strong, plus, the economy can go haywire anytime.

Everything is scheduled properly, great. I just focus on my daily work, sweeping, cleaning, washing cutlery etc etc. Come one afternoon, the fucking drama begins.

One of the cleaner make a phone call to my boss, asking for a single bedroom, or else he will boycott the event. Wehh, fuck la! ur position is just like mine, washing the same cutlery, and yet you asking for a greater luxury? IT'S NOT FAIR!!! The different between you & me, is just that you have an ample time, to go to anywhere you like, & delaying your washing & mopping. That's it.

I went thinking...

If...

- This bugger boycotting the event, will it fail tremendously?
- He is not there, so what? Who give a fuck anyway?
- He is there, are we sure he can make the event lively, producing what we are expect ppl to produce?

WEHHH....FUCK LA!

To make the story short, he managed to convince my boss for him to get a single bedroom! I'm really furious. So, is this what we call fairness then? Just because of fearing a single soul from boycotting the event, my boss approving his request. I can't imagine, how ppl can decide to change his decision in a wink of an eye....Eventhough he is so firm with that decide before...hmmm

Is is fair that,

- only this cleaner get a single bedroom, not me & other collegue?
- when he want to boycott thing, ppl will follow his request, without thinking of others ppl feeling

I'M REALLY PISSED OFF & TIRED with this drama. My Moral goes decade low, self-esteem is at nil.

FUCK, the only word i can say right now.

There is a continuation of this drama. BRB.

2003-09-19T17:34:00.000+08:00

Slipknot - Snap *Freddy VS Jason OST*

One more time and I'm gonna snap [x 15]
One more time and I swear I'm gonna
SNAP! (I'm gonna snap) I'm gonna snap! (I'm gonna snap)I'm gonna snap! (I'm
gonna snap) Gonna snap! ( gonna snap)I'm gonna snap! (I'm gonna snap)I'm
gonna snap! (I'm gonna snap)I'm gonna snap! (I'm gonna snap)
I'm gonna snap! ( gonna snap)

1, 2, Look out behind you
Bitch, gonna be on all you
Peace suffocates their freedom
This'll better me, a part of me
You were a par and a nag
Thinkin' that you lost, my friend
It doesn't matter what price, you win
Blood, sweat, and bastard-size
Stare into the killer in your eyes!

Besiege me! I kiss your cancer Deceiving, this doesn't matter
Becoming degraded dated, Behind me, one more I swear I'm gonna
Snap! (I'm gonna snap) I'm gonna snap! (I'm gonna snap)I'm gonna snap! (I'm
gonna snap) Gonna snap! ( gonna snap)I'm gonna snap! (I'm gonna snap)I'm gonna snap! (I'm gonna snap)
I'm gonna snap! (I'm gonna snap) I'm gonna snap! ( gonna snap)
Snap! (I'm gonna snap) I'm gonna snap! (I'm gonna snap) I'm gonna snap! (I'm
gonna snap) Gonna snap! ( gonna snap) I'm gonna snap! (I'm gonna snap) I'm gonna snap! (I'm gonna snap) I'm gonna snap!
(I'm gonna snap) I'm gonna snap! ( gonna snap)

All I want is what is mine
All I want is what is mine [x4]

You ain't no fuckin' friend of mine
ain't no fuckin' friend of mine [x3]

All I want is what is mine
All I want is what is mine (all I wanted!) [x4]

You ain't no fuckin' friend of mine ( oh fuck no!) [x4]

One more time and I'm gonna snap (Snap!) [x7]
One more time and I'm going to fucking...
Snap! (I'm gonna snap) I'm gonna snap! (I'm gonna snap) I'm gonna snap! (I'm gonna snap)
Gonna snap! ( gonna snap) I'm gonna snap! (I'm gonna snap) I'm gonna snap!
(I'm gonna snap) I'm gonna snap! (I'm gonna snap) GONNA SNAP ( SNAP )

2003-09-16T23:46:00.000+08:00

Dewa - Takkan Ada Cinta Yang Lain

Haruskah kuulangi lagi
Kata cintaku padamu Yakinkan dirimu
Masihkah terlintas didada
Keraguanmu itu Susahkan hatimu

Reff :
Tak akan ada cinta yang lain
Pastikan cintaku hanya untukmu
Pernahkah terbersit olehmu
Akupun takut kehilangan... Dirimu

Ingatkah satu bait kenangan
Cerita cinta kita Tak mungkin terlupa
Buang semua angan mulukmu itu
Percaya takdir kita Aku cinta padamu
Back to Reff :

Akankah nanti
Terulang lagi
Jalinan cinta semu
Dengar bisikku
Bukalah mata hatimu...

2003-09-16T23:42:00.000+08:00

LU APEHAL?

Jadi ke tak jadi, who cares anyway? It's not part of my life. And it's not even nearer to my digestive system. I mean, who give a fuck if your plan won't turn into reality.

Simple calculation

Gila Guy + Gila Girl = Short-lived marriage

Can't agree with me? wanna bet?

Extracted from the nastiest blog i've ever visited

FUCK_THOSE_FUCKING_FUCKERS

Period.

2003-09-12T01:07:00.000+08:00

Dewa - Cintailah Cinta

Pupus

Aku tak mengerti
Apa yang ku rasa
Rindu yang tak pernah
Begitu hebatnya
Aku mencintaimu lebih dari yang kau tahu
Meski kau tak'kan pernah tahu

Aku persembahkan hidupku untukmu
Telah kurelakan hatiku padamu
Namun kau masih bisu
Diam seribu bahasa
Dan hati kecilku bicara

Baru ku sadari
Cintaku bertepuk sebelah tangan
Kau buat remuk seluruh hatiku

Semoga waktu akan mengilhami
sisi hatimu yang beku
Semoga akan datang keajaiban
Hingga akhirnya kau pun mau

Aku mencintaimu
Lebih dari yang kau tahu
Meski kau tak'kan pernah tahu

2003-09-12T01:06:00.000+08:00

i remembered this classic oxymoron act by my 'friend'. She is kinda stupid human species that i've ever met in my entire life. More talk than work, even more pretentious than most devilish soul.

I didn't even know what she do good for the company, let alone to her circle of friends. Building up trail of enemies is her expertise, manipulating her weaknesses as a woman is this moron trait.

At one night, there is a 'drama' (no one will ever imagine this will happen). She is the star, we are the by-stander. She really excel in it, i guess she deserve to earn at least an Academy Award trophy. At one moment, she met my good friend who is her 'ally' at that moment. There are something a very shameful moment happen beforehand. My friend try to 'console' her (even not willing to do so). And this moron pop up a statement that would end her career life abruptly. Below is the dialogue (not a verbatim one though)

The Moron Girl (E): (Crying)

MyFriend (MF): Sabar la...sabar

E: I malu, MF, I malu. Tak patut ABC buat i camni.

MF: Tak per la...sabar jek la (MF is getting furious)

E: I malu tau! MF, PECAT la i!, bagilah alasan yang i TAK PERFORM (she hit the destructive button at this point of time).

The conversation goes on...even i feeling gonna puke if i jot down all their conversation.

See, this girl never perform in her job, she never realized that. She always thought 'I AM THE BEST'.

Hey GIRL, may i say something to u? - FUCK YOU!!!, DOUBLE MIDDLE FINGER to YOU!!!

Don't even think that you are the best, coz you are the one who create the utmost terrible problem here. Ptui!

2003-09-03T17:10:00.000+08:00

I dedicated this song to my fellow friend(s), i wish u to wake up from your own 'matrix' ASAP. Don't play with the bursting flame dear friend, or else you will fried to death :D

Aku Cinta Kau Dan Dia - Ahmad Band

Hancur hatiku mengenang dikau
Menjadi keping-keping setelah kau pergi
Tinggalkan kasih sayang
Yang pernah singgah antara kita
Masihkah ada sayang itu

Memang salahku, yang tak pernah bisa
Meninggalkan dirinya 'tuk bersama kamu
Walau 'tuk t'rus bersama
'kan ada hati yang 'kan terluka
Dan ku tahu kau tak mau

Reff:
Sekali lagi maafkanlah
Karna ku cinta kau dan dia
Maafkanlah ku tak bisa
Tinggalkan dirinya

Mungkin tak mungkin 'tuk terus bersama
Jalani semua cinta yang tlah dijalani
Tapi bila itu yang
Kau pikir yang terbaik untukmu
Bahagiaku untuk dirimu

Bridge:
Simpan sisa sisa cerita cinta berdua
Walau tak tercipta cerita cinta berdua
Still love her in my mind
Still love her forever

2003-08-25T10:48:00.000+08:00

It hard to bear the saddness of losing someone you love, escpecially your family members. As we always wish good & beautiful things will only happe on us, but it only in our dream, or in a utopia world or perhaps on in the MATRIX. Life consist of those, good & back, ugly & beautiful and all the things that enriches our life.

Close family members is always like a 'transparent' support pillar, giving u strength when you need it most, lending u their ears for you to express your feeling of disgruntled. It is awkward is u don't feel it so.

I received a sad news this very morning. Bibi's father just passed away. That's life, someone will come into you life, as well as leaving when you least expect it.

Al-Fatihah to her father.

It makes remind me on my sister. She passed away during her early years of living. I can't tell much abt this, or else i'll my eyes wiill filled with tears unexpectedly.

To Ayu, Al-Fatihah...

2003-08-22T10:42:00.000+08:00

Today is the beginning of the end. And....the end of the beginning. Only me know what i mean.

2003-08-21T08:41:00.000+08:00

Got a veryyyy tempting offer yesterday afternoon. I went for a window shopping to one of my fav shop, selling watches & sunglasses. After have a quite a lengthy conversation from the owner, i figure out that he STILL selling my all-time favourite sunglass, Oakley Juliet! Andddd... the price is way cheap! I can't believe it myself. Really. Selling at RM680 only! Wahh...now, can anybody tell me how to save that much money in 2 months time. I can't wait to own this baby. Below is the excerpt of Juliet's description from Oakley Website.

JULIET

FAMILY: X Metal
FRAME COLOR: X Metal
LENS COLOR: Black Iridium
PRICE: $275.00(USD) --------->>> if converted to RM (1 USD = RM 3.80), it will be RM1045

"Flex couplers allow this 25-piece blend of X Metal® and art to fit naturally around the skull. The adjustable frame includes temple shocks, interchangeable nosebombs, and all the innovations that sculptural physics can offer. Chiseled intake ports bolt the contoured orbitals around pure Plutonite® lenses to retain the precise geometry of XYZ Optics®."

The shop next door is selling the same sunglass for a very high price. The opening price is about RM987, but it can be lowered if i pay it by cash. Heck! why should i pay a hefty price for an item that i could possess it very cheap.

Let's make a simple math here

987-680 = RM 307 (this is how much i can safe!)

Wait wait....i can settle for a cheaper (not too cheap though) OAKLEY sunglass (i think :)). How about PLATE? I've give it a yesterday, it suit me fine. In fact i look like one of the bouncer in the night club. PLATE might be a better bet if i can't get a hand for Juliet. Excerpt of PLATE as below:

PLATE

FAMILY: Jackets
FRAME COLOR: Dark Silver
LENS COLOR: Black Iridium
PRICE: $180.00(USD)

"Welded by a kilowatt of ultrasonic energy, the suspended exoskeleton of lightweight O Matter® is fused to the subframe using ultrasonic energy. Sculpturally integrated hinges blend with wrap-around contours that maximize peripheral clarity with patented XYZ Optics®. The unique architecture exceeds ANSI Z87.1 Industrial Standards for impact protection while offering the comfort of a secure Three Point Fit."

Did i tell u that i got an offer for Casio Protrek Triple Sensor for RM450??...hehehehe...Who said life always unfair?

Come Christmas, i'll make sure that i will own this ultimate Boblbee Megalapolis Titan, for a cost of USD 189 for that kind of product, I'll try as hard as i could to get the money to buy it.

Lastly, the question....How many bags do i want in my life???

*Current Track* :- Johann Strauss - Tales from the Vienna Woods

2003-08-20T15:31:00.000+08:00

At lastttttt...i found my beloved headphone after 2 days of searching it. Hey dude, why do you put my headphone under your desk? Are you doing something down there? I wonder...

*Current Track* :- Chingy - Right Turr

2003-08-20T08:23:00.000+08:00

Just came back to the office last monday from a veryyy long 'vacation'. Hanging around in JB & spend sometimes in S'pore is never a bad idea. I got what i want. Whatelse if not an accessory for my camera. I just grabbed a new Lowepro backpack, Rower AW II for SGD 144. What a bang for my buck! When arrived in CathayPhoto, i was thinking to grab those Orion AW, but after spending quite a long minutes to evaluate several bags, i settled for Rower. U can check the specs here. Phewww...i really spend a lot on my camera stuffs lately. Never regret it because i always believe 'serendipity' will work on spend my money to this honey...hehe. Now i have several bags to choose from when i'm on assignment. I can choose my:

1) Lowepro Off Trail 2
2) Lowepro Nova 5
3) Lowepro Rower AW II

Let's have some real thing after this. I'll go full steam ahead in photography. No matter what. I've all the equipment that i need to excel in this field. What i need right now, is a real goals, skills, mental perseverance head on in this new area.

I'll resharpen my studio photo skill this afternoon. :)

BTW, who is the bugger that stole my headphone??? I won't swear as i usually does, but please bring me back my headphone or you will have deal with it in your afterlife.

*Current Track* :- Dvorak Symphony No. 8, 1 Allegro Con Brio

2003-08-04T21:27:00.000+08:00

I had a veryyyy greaat weekend! Hanging around at Photo Trade Show in Wisma MCA really enriches my life. I saw a lot of ppl with different kinda attitude & showing of their system. Some of them carry a descent system & the rest showing off theirs which i can only dream for time being...hehehe (thinking about M7). I got a lot of experience mixing up with ppl that i could hardly reach before. Haa, let me summarized what i had during 2 days of hanging around in that exhibition:

1) Attending slide shows from a well-known french photojournalist, Halim Berbar
2) Get to know a guy from PCP, he is a part-time student in PCP anyway. Came all the way from Kedah just to study photography. Can recall his name. If i not mistaken, his name is Alex.
3) Check, rectify, check & rectify again the item's price that i would like to possess.
4) I walk at least for 5 km around the exhibition hall (wicked!)
5) Met a pro photographer. I called him by the name of "Abang Din". He is relatively well-known person in Malaysia regarding to photography. Won several distinctive competition before. Very friendly & humble chap indeed.
6) Met Gafur from Redzuan Fotomedia. Had a very good chat with him as well.
7) Met AC98 from photomalaysia. He is the owner of PhotoCafe in Damansara Perdana.
8) Given a luxury in testing Leica M7 with it 35mm Lens (can't remember which lens though). I just feel amaze with this little camera body. I wish i can afford it, but for time being, i can but only in my dream..hehehe. The set that i've tested will set me back around 12-16k. (Pheww!!!...i could get married with that amount of dough)
9) Tested the German's optic wonder in Leica Televid 62 & Televid 77. It blow out my mind where it can focus on the 'SIRIM mark' on the hall's ceiling. The distance is around 50meter away & the image given is really vivid (i should buy one of those binocular for myself in later day). 62 is around 4500rm & 77 will put a hole in your pocket around 6-7k.
10)Playing around with Hasselblad XPAN & New auto-focus 645. Nowww i know the wonder of panoramic shoot & medium format. XPAN = rm10k and 645 is around rm23k (when i grow up, i wish i could afford both...hehehe)
11) The best part (i guess!) At lasttttt, i got what i want. I bought Manfrotto stuffs at bargain prices! Can u imagine? I got a half-price compare to what i got it the quotation someone ever sent me before...hehe..The virtue of patient, i called it :D. I got a set of Cokin P-system wedding kit Filter as well. Plus filter no. 123s & 198. :D. There goes my money. I never regret it, I called it as a long-term investment. :)

This is what i bought during the Photo Trade Show:

1) Manfrotto 190PRO Tripod Leg
2) Manfrotto 682 Self-Standing Monopod
3) Manfrotto 222 Grip Head
4) Manfrotto 329 Pro Compact 3-Way Head
5) Manfrotto 486RC2 Ball Head
6) Cokin Filter - Wedding Kit
7) Cokin Filter - No. 123S & 198
8) Electrical Dehumidifier

At this point of time....i wish i am a rich guy....you know what am i thinking. Don't you? :)

Current Track: Dvorak - Largo

Wanna go home & play with my new toys :)

2003-07-31T14:35:00.000+08:00

I felt a bit clumsy today. This the effect of hitting hard in gym & not having enough rest and sleep after that. Urghh! I should 'hibernating' myself at least 7 hours. 8 would be great, but that's only in my dream...hehehe

Done my Chapter 3,4 & 5. Waiting for rectification from my managing consultant. I'm expecting a 'huge' flame afterward. Wish me all the best, will you?

Current Track: Antonin Dvorak - 4th Movement

2003-07-30T09:19:00.000+08:00

FSFM (Federal Special Forces of Malaysia) is the largest stupid group of people i've seen so far. Heck, how on earth can they believe all the bullshit spew by their 'General'. Their story would be a classic laughing stock, i would say.

2003-07-30T09:11:00.000+08:00

I have no idea where does the minister come up with an idea to send Malaysian to space. For me it simple wasteful & daunting. We are not sending them with our full effort. We just 'tumpang' on the Russian Shuttle to send them up to the space. That's it! Simple but damn expensive.

Eh, for me, i would suggest them (whoever suggesting those idea), please put first thing first. Why not focus in imprving our educational system rather than jumping the gun & sending out our ppl to space without any concrete reason.

BTW, i'm still thinking who is the best candidate to be Malaysia's first astronaut. How abt Dr. Mazlan?

Current Track: Johann Strauss Sohn - Fledermaus - Overture

2003-07-28T12:50:00.000+08:00

I'm drooling when i see it. Breathtaking, amazing. Now, i can say it as my next coming short-term dream. The question is, how can i own it in very short time?

Nikon D2H

2003-07-26T02:28:00.000+08:00

Sejati - Wings

Sejati
Itu yang kau ucapkan
Bila janji kugenggam
Bawah pohon kemboja
Yang sekecil kita

Menanti
Di mahligai mainan
Kita bina bersama
Dari dahan yang rapuh

Usia perangkap kita
Remaja kita tinggalkan
Namun aku masih
Menggenggam janji

Tinggal kenangan
Gagal segala impian
Tinggal bertanya
Erti sejati

Kenangan itu
Hanya mainan bagimu
Tinggal bertanya
Erti sejati
Yang telah engkau janjikan dulu

2003-07-25T12:57:00.000+08:00

Last Friday is the Season's Finale for C.S.I in Astro Ch 15. I will be missing Sara Sidle a hell lot. The last episode is great. It is the one that i will remember for a very long time.

It is all abt a group of robber, strike in one of the bank in Vegas, heading straight to the secure room, just to steal box 729. They manage to fled away. Pity to the detective, being shot while protecting a kid with his mum. From here, the plot thickens.
Sam Brown is the suspect. But one part that really touches me, when how people feel that the killer she is hunt after for the last 2 years is her very own father. Pity Catherine Willows.

Next week gonna be a new series of C.S.I. They called it as C.S.I Miami. Reviewers told that this series is even better compare to C.S.I. I'm not gonna comment on that. I'm looking forward for the first episode of this new series, then i'll comment it accordingly.

*Getting hook-up with XY, every Thursday, 9.30pm, Astro Ch4, for a very obvious reasons. :D

Current track: Bach - Toccate & Fugue in D Minor

2003-07-23T12:41:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling blue today. Can't sleep that well as i usually did. I'm still thinking in my sleep. Too bad! Life is a bit stressful nowaday. Problems are keep on coming attacking me from various angles. Hmm...i won't ask myself "Why ME?", "Why is it happen to ME?", "Why not other ppl?"

Duh!...i really can't answer that, even i don't want to ask that question. For me, problems come & go. I do believe, what goes around, will come around. I'm really determine to let go the problem & just focusing on the solution. I gives me headache when i'm thinking about the problems.

I had a very big problem, the problem that i never thought will be poured on me. I have a faith that, God is Great & Most Merciful. He won't throw me this problem if i can't handle it at all. The only thing i need to figure out is, to solve the problem, once and for all.

Allah The Most Merciful, please give me my utmost strength to solve this problem...

2003-07-22T09:04:00.000+08:00

"Clubbed To Death" track really make my day! A perfect combination of classic & new soothing tune, this instrumental really rock! It make my day to go full throttle. First aired in 1999, as the soundtrack for The Matrix, now Rob Dougan release it as an album. Go check it out in your record store! (am i sound like a salesman??)

I felt in love with the cool piano tune.

2003-07-18T19:27:00.000+08:00

Today would be the last day of confusion. Next week will offers more clarity, intensity & more challenge for me. I'm looking forward for it.

Thanks you Week 29, u are the beginning of new ERA....

2003-07-18T15:20:00.000+08:00

I received a SMS from my friend. She has just give birth to a baby boy. His name is Ahmad Aqeel. I just wonder who does this boy look like? :D I guess, he might look like his dad. Perhaps. Aqeel was born on 5th of July 2003, a day after America's Independent day. I'm looking forward to visit him very soon.

Aqeel has born, i'm still the same. Hmm...i'm just thinking, is there any relationship between those 2 'incidents'?

2003-07-17T09:22:00.000+08:00

Wings - Taman Rashidah Utama

Pertama kali kau ku cinta
Pertama kali ku di luka
Kini aku menjadi tanda
Sebuah kubur cinta

Ku berjalan di dalam hujan
Mencari api yang terpadam
Namun sudah sekian lama
Hanyalah gelap gelita

Sebagai satu kenangan
Ku ciptakan satu taman
Rashidah Utama
Sebuah kubur cinta

Ku berpijak nyata di sini
Tak tercapai bintang di langit
Ku siramkan airmata
Pada darah cinta
Sebagai hiasan taman ini

Rashidah Utama
Sebuah kubur cinta
Rashidah Utama
Sebuah kubur cinta

Biarkanlah aku di sini
Menjadi nisan cinta ini
Izikanlah aku mengenang
Dirimu oh! Sayang

-----------

Remind me to someone...

2003-07-17T09:18:00.000+08:00

For the past two days, my team efficiency is at the optimal level. Everything went smoothly, cooperation is very high, determination to make sure thing are get done is fiery.

Whoever said that if you lose any of your team members, you might be bogged down by extra responsibilities. I begged to differ on that. Sometime, to off-load some team members is a better bet to make sure the project running smoothly.

I guess, someone might know this better :D

2003-07-15T10:11:00.000+08:00

I just finished reading a book entitled "Think & Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill. Bought it in Singapore during BS 7799 course early this year. I always wonder, there are plenty of books that i've bought in my life, but why all the amazing books usually take up from 5 months to a year before i open it up, sit down and have a serious read. Hmm...i should reassess back my habit of buying books as well as reading it. :)

The book by Hill is just amazing. He took around 20 years of research to create this stupendous write up. It is a thought provoking, a really deep insight, an easy to follow guide, simple yet effective approach which we doesn't even know it can be follow by a person like me (always broke, meaningless generic). But no more! Hill given a sure fire approach if anybody have a stream of urge to get rich or even richer.

Before anybody can get rich, what it takes is IDEA! It seems to be too simplistic, but it really make sense. In the book, it give a real-life example of people who only have an IDEA & with some characteristics (the list is as below), where at the end they manage to be RICH. Henry Ford, Andrew Carnegie and Thomas Edison is the best example.

In order to get rich, IDEA alone won't be sufficient. It need a characteristic of steel to be THERE. Hill denoted 13 steps that if anyone follows it, they will get rich. Allah Almighty, i believe in this steps, not even a single doubt about it. Here goes the steps:

***EVERYTHING STARTS WITH AN IDEA***

13 steps toward riches

1) DESIRE
2) FAITH
3) AUTOSUGGESTION
4) SPECIALIZED KNOWLEDGE
5) IMAGINATION
6) ORGANIZED PLANNING
7) DECISION
8) PERSISTENCE
9) POWER OF THE MASTER MIND
10) THE MYSTERY OF SEX TRANSMUTATION
11) THE SUBCONCIOUS MIND
12) THE BRAIN
13) THE SIX SENSE

Hill even elaborate at lenghty about the "ghost" which lurks in everbody's mind & thought. He call is the GHOST OF FEAR. There are SIX ghosts as below:

1) Fear of poverty
2) Fear of criticism
3) Fear of ill health
4) Fear of lost love
5) Fear old age
6) Fear of death

This book is even suggested and point of reference by fellow motivational book writers such as Brian Tracy an Robert Kiyosaki

U know what? This book has been on the bookstore's shelf for a very long time. It is first published in 1937, and now is 2003! Let me do some simple calculation...this book has been in the market for 66 YEARS! Man, what takes me so long to find this very fine and stupendous book??? I'll reach 30 next year and make sure with the guidance of this book, i'll spend the next 40-50 years with a fiery desire to get rich. I'll make sure to get rich as shortest time permits. Give me 5 years, and i'll show everyone what is riches is all about.

Thanks Hill, your book really lighting up my fire of getting rich!

2003-07-11T16:10:00.000+08:00

How to LOSE friends and PISS OFF People

Don't you think it will be a classic bestseller if i can write a book entitle "How to LOSE friends and PISS OFF People" ? I just trying to put in lateral & negative thinking toward bestseller by Dale Carnegie's How To Win Friends & Influence People. I don't have much experience an approach that i can use in writing it. Perhaps i can use that 'asset's' experience to leverage it.

Can the fucking asset which makes everyone piss-off please stand up? Where are you Damn Joker?

2003-07-11T11:44:00.000+08:00

Valueless Asset

Ok, fine. How do you value your assets? Will u keep an 'asset' that always holding you back, that won't let you goes further in any matters? Or would you throw your assets that can make you fly, empowering, enriching which at the same time increasing your net worth?

Fuck off!!! Why should this valueless asset ever exist? It hold me back from executing my tasks smoothly, wait, not only me, even most of the ppl have been affected by this fucking you-know-who asset. It still mystery what kinda major fucking contributions this 'asset' ever made?

Is there any term given to this so called 'valueless asset'?

valueless asset == liability == problem == headache == disaster

I rest my case.

Current Track : Ludacris - Act a Fool

You know who is the fool.

2003-07-10T16:53:00.000+08:00

MAJOR DEFINITE PURPOSE

What is my MAJOR DEFINITE PURPOSE...

- in life?
- in work?
- in my family?
- in my personal life?

i should put it on paper.....gimme a piece of paper so that i can write it down properly. Life is a hazy & cloudy part if we life without any goals.

2003-07-10T11:26:00.000+08:00

Malaysian read only 2 books a year? This is based from a research recently. Pathetic should i call it? I'm trying to gather as of why WE (Malaysian) are not into reading. As what i do observed almost everyday, Malaysian DO READ. But wait, the materials that they read is not a mind/thought provoking thingy. Aside from daily reading (Newspaper, websites), they usually spend time more on reading those gossip, entertainment, contemporary magazines. This is what i did observe when i spend my time around the city. Seldom they bring stuff like Personal Management, Personal Improvement to be digest during that moment. I just wonder why???

Let list it here, why Malaysian treat reading seems to be like a 'sins'

- Reading is boring
- Watching TV is better (there is some research regarding to this as well, the side effect of it)
- Reading is skimming a set of character, which gives eye strain
- Why read? Experiencing is better
- All those author is damn bullshitting in their materials. Most of them just having thought of doing some 'easy money'
- "I don't trust the author's write-up"
- ........

I'll continue it later.

2003-07-09T08:49:00.000+08:00

Wanna lose weight? Take some L-Carnitine & hit hard in the gym. You will lose weight in fast than u can ever imagine! But wait, diet counts as well.

L-carnitine will burn ur pocket around RM150-RM170 for a bottle of 750ml (if i not mistaken). That's a good grade stuff. Liquid L-carnitine is better than pill in term of it absorption speed by our body.

I should get a bottle of L-carnitine, most prob in 2 weeks time & see how it works onto me.. :)

2003-07-09T08:47:00.000+08:00

Back again from the 'dead', braindead i mean. Those workshop sapped my energy like hell. Staying too long in a resort is not a good bet. I just hate to be in the resort. What i want i more & more sun, better! Sweating a hell lot is even better.

In the future, let's have fun, sun & gun (can i?) at the same time.

haha...i got my dream on monday. Now i possessed those highly sought FM2n & the award-winning Lowepro Nova 5. Hah! why wait, let's kick into my photography realm ASAP. The sooner the better.

Now...i need to strategize, strategize & more strategy!

2003-07-04T12:47:00.000+08:00

"Live in the present, build for the future, learn from the past" Time Tested by Teh Tarik Crew

What and how is my future look like?

2003-07-04T11:06:00.000+08:00

Discovering yourself, inner & outer is not an easy endeavour. It's all about experiencing, searching, researching, failing. While waiting to know more about myself, i found out this link in fahroe's blog page. This is ME by PressAnyKey:

- Of slight build
- lots of charm
- appeal and attraction
- pleasant aura
- flirtatious
- adventurous
- sensitive
- always in love
- wants to love and be loved
- faithful and tender partner
- very generous
- scientific talents
- lives for today
- a carefree philosopher with imagination

If every points mentioned is in me, i'm blessed! :D

2003-07-04T00:51:00.000+08:00

Ning Baizura - Selagi Ada...(cinta)

Telah ku lakukan semuanya kasih
Telah ku korbankan segalanya
Namun ku sendiri tak pernah mengerti
Apa yang engkau fikirkan
Apa yang engkau inginkan

Ku tahu kau tak pernah setia (kasih)
Ku tahu diriku tak bererti
Namun ku sendiri tak pernah mengerti
Apa yang engkau fikirkan
Apa yang engkau inginkan

Selagi ada cinta di hatiku
Selagi ada rindu yang membara
Selagi air mata ini mengalir
Kau tetap di hati ini
Cintamu tetap di hati

Selagi ku mampu bertahan kekasih
Jangan sampai cinta tiada lagi
Jika memang cinta tiada lagi (kasih)
Tinggalkan aku sendiri...
Tinggalkan cintamu kasih...

Selagi ada cinta di hatiku
Selagi ada rindu yang membara
Selagi ku mampu bertahan kasih
Ku terima segalanya
Walau hatiku merana

Memang dah takde.....

2003-07-04T00:45:00.000+08:00

Heck, i'm still in office!!!?. But that's ok. I'm responsible on that. Nothing make me feel good other than seing my job is done. I feel those exhilarating 'monomaniac' excitement over my blood veins. Tomorrow i'll be heading to south, Melaka, Tanjung Keling to be exact. We wll conducting a workshop there. Let's pray to God as earlier as i could, dont let my anger-balloon burst there.

*Current Track* :- Too Phat feat. V.E. - Just a friend.

Yeah, we just a friend indeed :p

Robbie Williams - Come Undone

So unimpressed but so in awe
Such a saint but such a whore
So self aware so full of shit
So indecisive so adamant

I'm contemplating thinking about thinking
It's overrated just get another drink and
Watch me come undone

(come undone)
They're selling razor blades and mirrors in the street
(come undone)
I pray that when I'm coming down you'll be asleep
(come undone)
If I ever hurt you your revenge will be so sweet
Because I'm scum, and I'm your son,
I come undone
I come undone

So rock and roll, so corporate suit
So damn ugly, so damn cute
So well-trained, so animal
So need your love, so fuck you all

I'm not scared of dying
I just don't want to
If I´d stop lying I'd just disappoint you
I come undone

(come undone)
They're selling razor blades and mirrors in the street
(come undone)
I pray that when I'm coming down you'll be asleep
(come undone)
If I ever hurt you your revenge will be so sweet
Because I'm scum, and I'm your son,
I come undone

So write another ballad
Mix it on a Wednesday
Sell it on a Thursday
Buy a yacht by Sunday
It's a love song
A love song

Do another interview
Sing a bunch of lies
Tell about celebrities that I despise
And sing love songs
We sing love songs
So sincere

So sincere

(come undone)
They're selling razor blades and mirrors in the street
(come undone)
I pray that when I'm coming down you'll be asleep
(come undone)
A young pretender and my crowds above can see
I come undone
I am scum
Love your son
You gotta love your son
You gotta love your son
You gotta love your son
Love your son
I am scum
I am scum
I am scum
fade

2003-07-03T13:40:00.000+08:00

Nightmare, is what i got last night. Creepy, i felt it crawling under my bed. I've never had this nightmare before, as long as i can remember. Graves, rotating gravestones, cries, stressed onlookers.

2003-07-02T12:50:00.000+08:00

my brain stuck! Can't think as good as yesterday. Fuzzy & hazy is the wise word to describe. Most prob i need to feed my brain with more reading, motivational books perhaps.

Hey there! can anybody please tell me, where did i left my left brain? At home perhaps?..hmmm

I told to one of my friend, "We never know what the future behold". She couldn't agree more than that. I've just find out that, i disregard one matter on the abovementioned quote, "If you don't know your future, do create one."

I'm creating one for myself :)

2003-07-02T09:52:00.000+08:00

Some ppl do teased me, 16 kilos in 2 years is not good enough.

"Too slow"
"Can't you do it much more faster?"
"I can't wait that long!"
"You are semi-loser, waiting that long for only 16 kilos?"

Let me tell you this my friend, i've set my goal on this. Better late than sorry. I've started doing it, Does you? Losing around 500gm-1kg /mth is good enough for me. I've increased my disease-resistance rate in my body. I'm rarely infected with all those tiny malady, such as flu, cough. The ever better thing, i've lose those 16 kilos! It is worth waiting. I've never regret it. Not even a single second of regret feeling.

You want to lose weight in world-record-breaking-time? Go ahead man, make you day. Go for crash diet, go for Aitkin-diet (if you can afford it), gor for vege&fruit diet if u love to. You want to cut you food intake tremendously & go for hardcore gym session at the same time? I've no problem on that. Just to remind you, based on years of long research on crash diet regime, those people who pursue in this regime will got back to their normal habit in 6 month after that. Cutting too much of food intake will leave yourself weak, that's for sure. I've been there & done that. Nuff said... :)

Again, it is up to you.

2003-07-02T09:36:00.000+08:00

There are plenty of people ever asked me, "How do you manage to lose a hell lot of weight?". 16 kilos in 2 years. How do you do you it? Are you on diet regime? Do you spend a lot of your waking time in the gym? How heavy do you lift for your bench-press? And....there goes all those related question. I really anticipated in answering all the question above. I do really excited in answering them as well. There are many answers for each and every question that i've ever asked. But it is a dawn on me today that, of all the questions that i've answered, i've yet to answer them with this 'silver-bullet' answer.

"Self-determination, control & goals ".

Losing weight is all about that. The rest is optional. It doesn't matter how much do you hit in each gym session, how far & fast you want to go for each cardio session. The most cardinal of them all is the abovementioned point. It's all that matters.

Wadda fu** if you're torturing yourself doing bench-press or hitting the treadmill if you do not know where you are heading to. What is your objective in doing it? Why are you doing it in the first place?. Live in 'hazy' mental state is frustating, just fu** daunting, laborious, exhausting.

I've live in those condition. Now, i always tell myself, whatever i do, i will determine the goal before it start. Be it short,medium or long term goal. Setting a goal(s) won't take forever. I've burnt the bridge to that mental state. No more hazy mental state. Goodbye to you, it's very disappointing to live life with you. I've new lover nowaday. She is 'clear-mental-state-AKA-goal-driven' mental state.

2003-07-01T16:05:00.000+08:00

What do we call a person who are arrogant, stubborn, thinking she is always right, never learn of how to grow up (excluding body size)? Furthermore, she is the one who do not know how to behave well. Suffering a dementia on her middle brain perhaps? Or maybe, just maybe she look this world as different as it might be. Or...maybe she is stuck in her own 'matrix'? Where is the lady in red, so she can show this pathetic lady the way out of her matrix.

If you got the proper name, pls email me.

Life is all about sharing. Will she share something with me? :). Till tomorrow, i really need a good break.

2003-07-01T14:06:00.000+08:00

Hunger, despair. Urgh...i'm very hungry at this moment. My brain stuck. It's lunch time. Wadda heck am i still in da office. Tons of work need to be completed.

2003-06-30T09:36:00.000+08:00

Put it straight, i've spend most of my week at home, reading, reading & more reading. Next month will be no more shopping spree on books for me. I need to finish them up. There are plenty. Not too much, but plenty.
Let put it in list:

NatGeo,Time,PersonalMoney,Fortune,Think&GrowRich....the list goes on...

Cool...i must admit. I've finished reading a book which i should done it early this year. Book about money, and it was cool. Thought-provoking, giving some insight of my money.

Hey, talking about money, i guess everyone want it more, no one ever satiable with what they possess. What they want is MORE!. I need to make more money as well. But the cardinal question is... HOW? I've figure out many ways, but i know this one way will strike oil for me if i give a hyper focus on it. The only problem that i have right now that holding me back is my Self-inflicted FEAR! This is really annoying & giving me a real hard time. Let's myself learn of how to extinguish those fear & let me excel it the field i chose. We wait and see.

Maxim is a mouth-watering mag. I luv it very much. Dreaming of Genelle Frenoy :)

Eh..! I'm not doing any photo shoot for the last 3 weeks. My hand is itching, right-brain is under-utilize. Let see if i got a chance to shoot this week ;)

*Get Back To Work!* - I'm telling myself!

2003-06-27T08:49:00.000+08:00

Damn! i've been awake for the last 26 hours. But i just enjoy it much :D. Finally the report is out. 20 copies. We have really burned our midnight oil, having fun chatting while verifying the report. Thx to Ros for her hardwork.

I'm hungry like a wolf. Waiting for some nasi lemak from colleague. Nasi Lemak oh Nasi Lemak. There goes my diet..hehe

Fuller than ever. I'm going home. Need a good & plenty of rest today. Time to do some reading by this afternoon.

* Current Track * : Dewa - Mistikus Cinta

Zzzzzzz....

2003-06-26T09:20:00.000+08:00

Early to the office. I watched CSI half-way through only last night. Damn tired.

Got a dateline by this 3.00pm. Report and more report.

The traffic is relatively calm, too early for a massive traffic build-up, i guess.

Hey, let's continue with work. I need to verify my write up before sending it up to fellows member.

*Current Track* : Carefree - Belaian Jiwa : 3.46 minutes

Go Back to Work! Go Back to Work! Go Back to Work! Go Back to Work! Go Back to Work! Go Back to Work! Go Back to Work! Go Back to Work! Go Back to Work! Go Back to Work! Go Back to Work! Go Back to Work! Go Back to Work! Go Back to Work! Go Back to Work! Go Back to Work! Go Back to Work! Go Back to Work! Go Back to Work! Go Back to Work! Go Back to Work! Go Back to Work!

I read something interest, the author of this book says, "Only 20 percent of the employees is producing 80 percent of the company's job. 80 percent of them doing only 20 percent of the job. This is based on Pareto Principle.

Let me tell myself this, i resolved that : I want to be the top 20 percent of the employees that doing the 80 percent's job.

Hard, hard, hard. How hard you want me to be? Soft,softer, softest = enjoyment???

Huh!, act a fool, rule by heart rather than by head.

Give the credit to whom it is deserved.

Yawn, yawn, yawn...urghhh...i'm still in the office, doint my work. I got a dateline to meet by tomorrow. When i'll be home? Yet to be known...

2003-06-25T09:29:00.000+08:00

Feeling a hell lot better this morning. Manage to keep up to my plan in GG yesterday. I do situp like 80 reps. I'm still feeling the burning sensation around my upper torso.

Heck, need to start with my work immediately.

*Current Dream* : FM2n (used & mint condition), Lowepro Nova 5, Christina Aguilera

I always asked myself, where does time & space go during the end of days? Are they just disappeared? How? Or....is it proper for me to ask this kinda question in the first place?

I feel saddened when i read about The Untouchables featured in National Geographic, June 2003. The caste in India's community is unbelievable. How can they treat a human like a sub-human, which close to an animal? Why, why & why? What is so different between you and me? Are you damn superior which can let you treat other human like what you think and wish? Do you think you can live without other human in this lonely-human-breeder-planet?

I shall learn about human thinking, more & more!

I planning to get an autobiography of Adolf Hitler next month. It will be in my featured reading list. I want to learn what is this ego-centric-brutal-no-nonsense man is thinking about his life? Is he a true leader? Is he a born-gifted to be a leader or he is groomed & teached to be like one?

I want to read more about these man below:

1) Prophet Muhammad
2) Saiyidina Umar-Al Khattab
3) Adolf Hitler
4) Theodore Roosevelt
5) Albert Einstein

Let share what other people see about the importance of goals in life:

"You become what you think about most of the time"

"Happiness is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal, or goal" - Earl Nigthingale

"You must know what exactly what you want...and...You must determine the price that you will have to pay to achieve it and then get busy paying that price" - H.L. Hunt (oil billionaire)

2003-06-24T09:34:00.000+08:00

Traffic is a mess this morning. I have to take around 90 minutes to reach to my office. Too bad. The traffic is almost sucking my petrol dry. Urgh!, i screwed up my plan last night , AGAIN! See, i plan to read NatGeo, which i think a better idea to start with my subscribed mag. But, i end up reading MAXIM, oct 2002 issue, and fell asleep right away just after i flipped it to the last page. I'm too tired yesterday. My mind really exhausted. Can't think much about anything. I should spend some hours in Gold Gym, torturing on the treadmill & do couple of leg & bench presses. That's a better choice. My cortisol hormone is running high, i should lowered it down. Can't turn back the time.

Today, need to review the team report. Manage to submit it yesterday. I'm still unsatifiy with the quality of my work in the report. Need to improve more. Can anyone help me? Help me to improve my writing. Where should i start? How?

Let put it this way, life is full of problem and that is the challenge. Let's focus on the solution, rather than the problem itself.

: Current track :- Ning Baizura - Selagi Ada...(Cinta)

cool track, i admire her voice, silky. The lyric is really cool, touching
Music is my life.

---afternoon---

I felt bloating after lunch. I can't eat properly due to mouth ulcer. Ouch!, it damn hurt man. The side effect is, i got a terrible headache.

Can't wait for my gym session. I shall torture myself on the treadmill this evening. Let the cortisol evaporates. Let the testetorone fire up back in my body. Go away cortisol!, so does cholesterol.

Raining? Duh!, i dont want to be trapped in the office. Another flash-flood in the making. I need to go to Gold Gym. Taking a look at some hot chick during workout can lower my stress level.

My! this headache puts me in misery. My left brain seems to be non-functional. Securing YM connection is cool. Using Simp (Secway Instant Messenger Privacy) is a breeze. With few clicks, voila! everything is secure. No 3rd party can read my YM message. Period.

I'm still planning to get my photography gear in order for me to setup my FIRST basic-mini-studio cum mobile-studio. I've the list of equipment that i should possess. The list as follows:

1) Manfrotto Art 314 Backdrop Set Kit
2) Manfrotto Art 060 Lampstand - 2 pieces
3) Manfrotto Art 001 Back Lampstand - 1 piece
4) Manfrotto 229 3D Ballhead
5) Manfrotto 055 Pro Tripod Leg
6) Morris Lamp Clip - 3 pieces
7) Morris Slave Flash Unit - 3 pieces
8) Visatec Silver Umbrella 32" Diameter - 2 pieces
9) Backdrop Canvas 5' x 7'

This gadget will set me back around 3.5k!!...Urgh!!...where can i find the money to possess those stuffs?...Thinking thinking thinking....

Or....can anyone borrow me some money, so that i can start my basic-mini-studio much more earlier? I'll pay u back monthly, no problemo :)

If, and only if i can get those object of desire by early of next month, my life will never be the same. :D

: Current track :- Ning Baizura - Selagi Ada...(Cinta) - via winamp 3 built #488 (hey!, ning again???, what wrong with u kimi?)

I'm going to hit the treadmill at least 30 minutes, bench pressing at least 70 pounds (my shoulder still hurts), 170 pounds of leg pressing, 50 reps of sit-ups. Mandatory. Going to make some changes on my routine. Let start with sit-ups. The rest will be the same.

2003-06-23T19:37:00.000+08:00

let face it, this is my first time writing blog. :)

Still in the office, thinking of going home ASAP. My brain got saturated, my mood is getting bad. Huh!...what a day for me. What should i do tonite? hmm..let's see, i got tons of subscribed magazine that just arrived last week. Got to pick-up one of those, and give a read. I guess the latest National Geographic will do justice..hehe

Need to perform maghrib prayer in 10 minutes time.

Oh, BTW, got to read another road the book entitled 'Goals!' by Brian Tracy. A great book, give me a good direction in life. Which one should i read tonite? NatGeo or Goals?...will decide during driving

Life is full of books, i'm being overwhelm by it...hehehe

Hey, most of friend is changing cars, new car i mean. They got tons of money i guess. Me? i'm still happy with my 92' Toyota SE, economic & less-problematic. I just wonder, why ppl change car when their old car still usable? Is it true car can lift-up their image to the mass-public? I reckon they should read "Millionaire Next Door" book...hehe...book again!

-kimi-